Martin Mayhem: Can you say blackmail?

Kids Say the Darndest Things!

Kam:

Me- "I love you little boy!"
*gives me a kiss*
Kam- "I love you little Mom!"

Kam: "yes way hose way!"

Me: "Kam, It is time for bed, so I need you to go in and try to go potty."
Kam: "Okay! If I go pee in the potty, then you say 'yay', okay?"
Me: "Deal!"

"Mom, if you ever need me just call me."

Kam: "There were monsters downstairs. I threw snowballs at them. They are all dead now."
Me: "Awesome!"

Kam: "I'm go outside. Fight the monser. You stay here with the babies!"
Me: "Good idea!"

"My freckles are making my nose itch."

"I trazy (crazy)."

"I luh loo Mom Mom!"

Payton:

Me- "we should make bread today."

Payton- "Yeah, cause I like your buns!

Me- "I love your stinkin' Guts!"
Payton-"Eeww! Smelly stinky guts!"

"When you fall and break your head, your bones fall out. 'Cause your body is made of glass."

You have to eat if you want to get married."

"You can't marry your brother, or else they will put you in jail!"

"I am going to be a big girl twin."

"When you get old, you kind of die."

"I don't want to be a grandma, I just want to be a girl."

"We need our bums so we can sit down."

"Mommy, the babies can't come out of your ears."
"No, definately not out of my ears."
"So, how do they come out?"
I then tell her how babies come out.
"Oh, okay."

"I have carrots in my eyes."
"How did you get carrots in your eyes?"
"I eat them."
(We have told her that carrots are good
for our eyes)

"I can't walk. I am too busy to walk."

"Riley, I'll be the Mommy, and
you be the Honey."

"I want to read this book to Jesus when I see him."

As I am combing Payton hair, she asks, "Am I beaufow yet?"

"Just a second minute."

"I can't go upstairs it's too hard. I'm too heavy."

"it's too hard to go to bed."

"When I grow up, I'n a be a baby."

Payton said to Riley, "your bum is so beaufow." Riley was wearing Dora panties at the time.

"Kam haffs a bum. I haffa
bum too. *turns around* See my bum?"

I tell payton, "Payton
it is time for bed." She responds very sweetly,
"Nope, no thank you."

"I wuf you, Mommy."

"no, I dood it." (I can do
it)

"Kam's Cutie."

"Dat's my fren Kambolt."

"I don't like broccoli, because I am too
big for broccoli."

Riley:

''I love you like one hundred and thirteen.'

Me- "I love your stinkin' guts!"
Riley- "I know, they're so stinky!"

"What is that 'pump-up' thing on his bum?" (this is
where I tell her about how boys and girls are different)
"Oh...and when he gets older he won't have that
anymore?"

"The More you Eat the more you poop."

"Mommy? When I am a mommy, and when
Payton is a mommy, where will we live?"
"Probably at your own house with your family."
"But I will miss you so much!"
"I guess you can live with us forever."
"Yeah, I think so, 'cause I would miss you too
much."

"When I am a mommy, I want to do everything like mommy does."
"When I am a mommy, I think I will have
two babies...or maybe three...or maybe six. I don't know we will just have wait and see."

"We are going to grow so big, and we won't fit in our house anymore...'cause we eat everyday."

"If the baby is a girl, we can name her Rainbows.
If is is a boy...well...I don't know, I guess we will just have to think of a good boy name."

"Mommy, Skirts are better than Shorts."

"Happy Mothers day, Daddy!"

"When I get big like you, we are going to be sisters."

My skin is buggin' me, cause I need some make up on."

Riley walked into the living room and told Jace, "I am crazy about you!"

Riley put Jace's glasses on and said, "I look WAY too cool."

"Hi Mommy."
"Hi Sugar." "I am not
Sugar, I'm the Queen."
"Oh, okay, Hi Queen"
"Hi."

"Mommy, will you wipe my bum really good, so I don't get any cavities?"

"Tomorrow I am going to get married with Daddy at the wedding store."

"I need to read my book, because my head
is making me crazy!"

Riley heard loud truck outside while she was saying our bedtime family prayer. She stopped immediately and said, "something is making a loud noise. (insert
attitude) I can't say a prayer when it is making a loud noise."

"When it is rainy, the rain gets tired. Then it stops raining. That's what happens."

"Mommy, I am hungry. I am freezing
hungry."

"My sucker haves juice in it. It tastes
like wood. Suckers always taste like wood."

"Mommy, I have a question for you."
"Okay, what is it?"
"It is on my finger."
"You have a question on your finger?"
" yes."
"what is it
doing there?"
"just hanging out."

"Mommy I am so proud of you, and Payton is proud of you, and Daddy is proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself." I asked her why I should be proud of myself, and she repilied, "because you are beautiful."

I walked into Payton's room today, and I found Riley in the closet, stacking little pieces of cardstock into piles. I asked her what she was doing. She said,
"organizing."

Riley calls chapstick, "chax lips."

After I did Riley's hair today, she told me she looked like a gymnaster (think Gymnastics).

"Mommy will you crill my hair like yours?"

I was stretching after a run, and Riley was stretching with me. She looks at me and says, "you are so cute,
Mommy."

Riley calls swimming lessons, "swimming blessings."

Riley told me, "Daddy put dorant
(deodorant) on my bugs." (Uncle BJ tickles her armpits and tells her that he is going to get her bugs."

"My ears are so sad...because they don't
have any earings."

We took Riley to Kids Day at the Duchesne County Fair(where they had cotton Candy, and swimming, and games) My Mom Kept the girls for the next week, and she took the girls swimming. Riley asked if she could have some cotton candy. Of course My mom told her they didn't have any. Riley then says, "I love My Daddy. He let's me have cotton Candy." Then she looks up at my Mom and says, "Can I have some cotton candy Grandma Char?"

I was putting Riley to bed and just before I walked out the door, she said, "Mommy, I am glad that I love you."

She got really close to my face, touched my eyebrows and said, "Mommy, I like your Frownies."

She was playing with her Doll, and apparently the doll got hurt, and she told her, "you are okay, be tough." (you can tell she has heard that one a time or two!)

Riley looked at me while pulling a funny face
(pulling her lower eyelids down), and said, "Do I look like an orphin?"

"I am super hero Riley!!"

Sometimes when Riley starts eating, she will say, " I am going to get bescusting" (discusting...I think she means dirty, but your gues is as good as mine).

Also, while eating Riley will tells us, "look... I am
growing!"

Martin Mayhem

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Can you say blackmail?

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